By Jefferson Uwoghiren
Godwin: Guy I have been calling you since yesterday, no luck. How far na?
Friend: No vex. I have been terribly busy. So what is the matter? I’m going back to Court soon.
Godwin: Eyaaa! Person no fit reach you again. Na so so ‘ I’m busy’ .
Friend: What exactly is the issue? I no fit shout.
Godwin: I have no issue. I just need your expert opinion on the best way to reach Benin by road from Lagos. I want to attend Valentine papa burial this weekend.
Friend: Dem invite you? I thought you guys are observing social distances in Lagos? Why risk so much to be in Benin?
Godwin: It’s how to eliminate these risks and arrive Benin safely, dey make me call you.
Friend : Well in my not too considered opinion, you for bust all these travel travel now and wait till things clear.
Godwin: Nothing dey clear boo! Just guide me.
Friend: Issiorite. First thing, leave your motor for Lagos and enter lorry wey carry goods dey go East for Iddo Bus Park, for Mainland. Fold all your better clothes inside one Ghana Must Go. Make sure you seat down for back of the lorry and look lost!
Friend: When you reach Ore, come down and look for Hausa lorry wey dey carry rotten empty tomatoes baskets or the ones wey carry kolanuts leaves. I prefer the tomatoes baskets own. Make sure you seat down on top your Ghana Must Go bag, and preferably under the baskets!
Godwin: A whole me, under baskets of tomatoes! What happened to all those transport lines?
Friend: They are moving time bombs! Choose baskets and safety or public transport and ransom.
Godwin: I will rather stowaway on Airpeace to Benin than climb back of lorry.
Friend: Na you sabi. Valentine send you message?
@views exclusive rights: Jefferson Uwoghiren, a human right lawyer writes from Benin City on 9th February, 2021.