By Michelle Obama

As an adult, I’ve lived in a number of places, but as far as I’m concerned, I’ve only ever had one real home.

My home is my family.

My home is Barack.

But here’s the thing – our marriage has never been perfectly 50-50.

One of us is always needing more or giving more. We have to be willing to listen to each other, honestly and without defensiveness. Only then, can we evolve together.

Over the years, a lot of young people have asked me about marriage. And my response usually goes something like this:

You have to prepare yourself for long stretches of discord and discomfort. You have to learn how to make real compromises in the way you’ve lived as an individual.

Glamorizing a relationship while you’re dating will lead you straight to difficulty once you’re married.

You can’t paper over problems when you’re living with someone day in and day out.

So you’ve got to ask yourself:

What are you trying to get out of this relationship?

Have you truly thought it through?

Do you want a wedding or do you want a lifelong partnership?

Those are two very different things.

Together, you are answering the question: Who are we and who do we want to be?

Now I want to hear from you. What advice would you share about marriage or relationships? #TheLightWeCarry.

@views exclusive rights: Michelle Obama, Wife, Barack Obama, Former President, United States of America, November 25, 2022.